Ron Paul a Shoo-in

No wonder Ron Paul is surging to the top of the polls. He has been endorsed by Kelly Clarkson. Wow! Could a candidate ask for any more? That certainly carries more validity than an endorsement by the Texas Family Bush, Ronald Reagan or any of the other dead presidents. Seriously, have we gone totally nuts in this country? Are we so lazy that we can't do our own due diligence to determine who the best candidate is? We have to rely on Barbra, Demi, J-Lo, Angelina, Brad, Miss Piggy and Elmo to tell us who to vote for. If Pat Paulsen, Pogo or Alfred E. Neuman were running, maybe I could understand it. Come to think of it...the races were a lot more fun when they were running.

A Florida Christmas with apologies to Clement Clark Moore

I believe I have observed the mandatory mourning period for my hero, Andy Rooney,  I'm sure Andy is in heaven finding even more unique things to be concerned about. I have attempted to cultivate my eyebrows in memorium, but my wife trims them while I am asleep.

Our first Christmas in Florida.  Very festive.   Sidewalk Santas in tank tops, shorts and sun block. Wheelchairs and walkers trimmed in holly. Canes wrapped like peppermint sticks. Supp-hose is hung by the fake chimney with care in the hope our dysfunctional Congress won't cut Medicare. Glasses of Ensure and Metamucil cookies await Santa.

We had just settled down for a warm winter's nap when out by the pool there arose such a clatter I eased out of bed (too old to "spring") to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a miniature slate of characters who want to be president next year.

Slower than turtles in molases they run, so I whistled and shouted and looked for my gun. No, Romney! No, Perry! No, Paul or Ms. Bachmann!

Go, Santorum! Go, Grinch-rich and Ambassador Huntsman! Now go away, go away, GO AWAY ALL!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and best wishes to one and all for a happy, healthy 2012.

More 4 AM Meanderings

Why can't the brain shut down and go back to sleep at 4 AM? Because it worries about such things as...

Will the Cleveland Indians ever win another World Series?...Why can't political candidates speak facts instead of fantasy?...Are Will and Kate happy?...Don't forget to talk like a pirate Sept. 19th. Arrrr!..How come nobody wished us Happy Grandparents Day Sunday?...Why did the debate audience applaud when the number of executions in Texas under Perry was brought up?...A Carolina Panthers fan for 11 years, now surrounded by Dolphins, Bucs and Jags - What to do?...Am I the only one who is scared by the specter of Michelle Bachmann as president?...My Univ. of Miami vs Ohio State Sat. night. Battle of the disgraced. Go 'Canes!!!...Are Brad and Angelina happy?  Why should I care?...With Peyton Manning sitting out Sunday's game, it was nice that the rest of the Colts sat out too in sympathy.

Enough.  Maybe Ambien is the answer. 

I Apologize...

My intent when I thought I might write something once in a while was to keep it light and, hopefully, humorous. So I apologize for the following.

Is there or has there ever been a more arrogant politician than John Boehner in Washington? My spell check insists on making that "Boner", and I find it hard to disagree. Where is the civility and respect that our elected leaders used to at least make a pretense of showing? Boehner didn't even have the courtesy to call the President about changing the night of the speech. He sent a letter. I am truly concerned about what is happening in Washington or maybe what isn't happening.  Compromise, ladies and gentlemen of the Congress. You were elected to serve the people of this country. If you can't respect your fellow legislators, at least show us some respect and start making things happen!

I apologize for my alma mater. The University of Miami has once again embarrassed itself and its alums. And will someone explain to me the NCAA's ruling about requiring the offending players to make restitution! College football players are on scholarships.  A lot of them don't have pizza money.  That's why they accepted illegal benefits to begin with. And who do they make restitution to?  The scumbag who is in prison for 20 years for his ponzi scheme and who caused all this trouble to begin with? If the money goes to the NCAA, they should use it to commission a study on how to legally compensate in some fashion these players.  Why did the Ohio State players sell rings, autographs, etc.? Because they more than likely needed some cash.

That's it.  Sorry.  Just had to vent. Maybe humor will return soon. 

Do We Really Need...?

Do we really need...

Four wide ones?  I mean, quit wasting time.  Send the batter to first and move on.
Squirrels? A waste of fur.
Plastic wrapped products that can't be opened without a machete?
Mosquitoes?
Price stickers that refuse to come off glass and ceramic?
Obama-bashing without offering better ideas?
Pockets in pajamas? What, am I going to take my wallet to bed with me?
Palmetto bugs? Ugly little roaches.
Commercials after TDs followed by commercials after the following kick-off?
Pat Buchanan?
Ego-maniacal car dealership owners who feel a need to make stupid commecials?
Cancer? Enough said.
Penalty kicks to decide soccer games? Ridiculous. Play 'til someone scores even if it takes days. Look at cricket matches.
Pat Buchanan?
Grouchy seniors who think they should blog?

I looked at the clock...4 AM. Why was I awake? Casey didn't jump on me.  Maybe the clock bonging on the hour? I feel like I'm sleeping under Big Ben in this smaller house. I hadn't had a nightmare since the night Michelle Bachman announced she was running for president, but there I was...wide awake.  The body wanted to go back to sleep but the mind wanted to run laps around my memory bank.

As I age, I marvel at the brain's ability to retain and bring to the surface (at odd hours) long-forgotten people, places and events.  I remember  the evening my 3-year old daughter, dismayed at her newborn brother's reluctance to tell her "good night", asked if he didn't have batteries yet. There were the trips to the ER with her because she drank "icky water" (lighter fluid we thought but never knew for sure). She fell on a carpeted stair step and opened a small but bloody cut in her eyebrow that required stitches. There was the time she dropped a glass insulator (Don't ask!) and a piece of it bounced up and gashed her leg. That was a fun trip in the ambulance and more stitches. And there was the afernoon I'll never forget at the old Cleveland Municipal Stadium when the same little girl, a bit older, stood on her seat and yelled louder than anybody around us when Frank Robinson (I think it was Frank.) hit a home run.  I'm sure she'll remember who hit it if I'm wrong. You know the wonderful thing...she hasn't changed. She grew into a wonderful person who still  has the exuberance to drown out everyone around her at swim meets, baseball games and any time Peyton Manning throws a TD pass. She still makes occasional trips to the ER. That's was loving and caring mothers do. She's a wonderful person who enjoys life, a very loving and proud mother, and I love her very much.

So now I will wait to see what my mind comes up with the next time I wake up at 4 AM. If Sarah Palin wakes me up, it won't be pretty.  You accumulate a lot of useless stuff over the years - I've got way too many pairs of socks for a retiree living in Florida - but we also store a lot of wonderful memories in the far reaches of our mind.  It's fun to wander back there once in awhile and pull them out.

Where is Congress?

Prime Minister Cameron of England is calling back Parliament from recess to deal with the growing riots  in London and elsewhere. There have been calls for President Obama to recall members of Congress to deal with our country's problems, but he can't find them.  They're all in hiding. Nancy Pelosi is getting her botox removed so no one will recognize her. When Congress reconvenes, look for a shar pei wearing a pants suit. Harry Reid is somewhere leading a seminar on charisma. Addison Mitchell Abraham Mordichai Mitchell is back in Kentucky learning how to talk by moving his lips. He would have made a great ventriloquist. And John Boehner spends his day in front of a mirror practicing saying "no" with a straight face.

Senior Moments

We've moved. Those of you who know us aren't surprised, because this is our 8th move in the 33 years we've been married. "Why do you move so often?" you may ask. "Damned if I know." I answer. Several of you have made the pledge to have us committed if we ever utter the word "move" again.

We are now in Eustis, Florida. "Where is Eustis, Florida?" you may ask. "Damned if I know." I answer. We are close to Umatilla, Ukahumpka, Apopka and Yeehaw Junction, Florida. I feel like we've become characters in "The Dukes of Hazard". (That's an old TV show for you young'uns.) Right up the road a piece is Paisley, Florida obviously settled by my son-in-law's ancestors. I've always thought that Dave's quiet, stoic nature was due to Seminole Indian blood in his veins.

I had a couple of senior moments last week. When you don't feel old, and the image in the mirror doesn't look particularly old, you just take it for granted that no one looks at you as being old. I was in the checkout lane at Publix last week when the "elderly" cashier and the "elderly" lady doing the bagging started asking me about what was going on in Washington, and will "we" be losing our social security and medicare benefits. Okay, I admit I look old enough to be getting social security, but then the next day it really hit me.  I was outside of Lowes with an employee helping me get a large box in the van when another customer stopped and gently elbowed me out of the way and said "Let me help him.". I thought that was very nice of him until I realized he had to be at least 65 years old and he's helping me! How old and decrepit do I look for heavens sake?  I guess I shouldn't feel insulted. I actually invited him to come home with me and help get the box out, but we couldn't figure out how to get his wheelchair in the van.