I Love Florida

I wasn't born in Florida. I live in Florida now.  I love Florida. The trees are the right height...well some of them. Some are kind of short, but I like them anyway. Some have fruit on them. I love fruit. Especially the orange ones.

 And  the lakes. Big lakes, small lakes, some with alligators. I guess that's why they call it Lake County.

Cars...lots of cars.  I love the cars. Lots of golf carts too. A lot of cars are driven by people who shouldn't be driving a motorized shopping cart at Walmart, but Florida is so friendly, anyone can get a license.

The people in Florida are great.  I love the people. So much diversity.  I've been in a few stores where they even speak English.  I kind of wish we had moved to Key West. Then I could have stood on my front porch and seen Cuba. Oh well. I still love Florida.

Ringling Brothers packed up the tents. The elephants marched in single file. The clowns took off their makeup, and the circus left Florida.

In Florida you cannot register as an independent, so as one of the only two registered Democrats in Florida (Karen being the other one), I was fascinated watching the Republican party self-immolate. David Axelrod probably has blisters on both hands from rubbing them together in glee.

I have no more idea today than I did a month ago about what either candidate is going to do if elected to make our lives better.  We were exposed to millions of dollars worth of advertising, 95% of it negative. After listening to all of that, I don't know why anyone would want to vote for either candidate.

Two hundred and seven days until the convention. I imagine the party will have it all together by the time the convention comes to Tampa in August. If they don't, they can take all the planks of their platform, nail them together and build a pier into Tampa Bay for Reince Priebus, Chairman of the RNC, to jump off.

SUPER PACs

Am I the only one who thinks our system of electing presidents needs a complete overhaul?  There is no doubt that the way we choose our leader is better than the way they do it in Wherethehellisitzan and other countries where the leader is the last person whose home hasn't been bombed. I know we have more pressing problems like how the devil do we straighten out the BCS bowl selection process, but, c'mon...Super PACs?


I believe that's an acronym for Poorly Allocated Cash.  I don't normally read Supreme Court rulings unless I'm in the dentist chair, and I am trying to create more pain than the dentist. I haven't gone on Fact Check, but didn't the court deliver a decision that now allows the SUPER PAC? Were they texting or playing Sudoku under their robes instead of listening? Wasn't there already enough money to buy mud suitable for slinging? Can't we get The Good Wife, Harry or Denny Crane to bring suit to overthrow such a ridiculous decision? When this election is finally over and we add up all the Super PAC money and all the money thrown away by Bachmann, Cain and Colbert along with the millions Obama will be spending, I bet it would be enough to retire the national debt, buy a couple of small third world countries and still have enough to feed Governor Chris Christie for a week.

Sorry, Ron Paul

Just when we all thought Kelly Clarkson's endorsement of Ron Paul was going to push him over the top, Rick Santorum (Santorum...that's latin for "BORING"!) gets the backing of TV's favorite litter, The Duggars. If all 47 kids (I've lost track of how many there are.) were of voting age, Rick would be a slam dunk.

So today the national spotlight is on Iowa where a predominately white, Christian, rural populace (Is that really America's make-up?) will end the dreams of several of the presidential wannabes. Which ones will be the Iowa Carcasses? Which ones will drag their tired bods on their buses tonight with their campaigns tucked away in body bags in the baggage compartment? Which ones will move on to New Hampshire and South Carolina with a fresh load of mud to sling at one another? Politics...America's favorite reality show.

Ron Paul a Shoo-in

No wonder Ron Paul is surging to the top of the polls. He has been endorsed by Kelly Clarkson. Wow! Could a candidate ask for any more? That certainly carries more validity than an endorsement by the Texas Family Bush, Ronald Reagan or any of the other dead presidents. Seriously, have we gone totally nuts in this country? Are we so lazy that we can't do our own due diligence to determine who the best candidate is? We have to rely on Barbra, Demi, J-Lo, Angelina, Brad, Miss Piggy and Elmo to tell us who to vote for. If Pat Paulsen, Pogo or Alfred E. Neuman were running, maybe I could understand it. Come to think of it...the races were a lot more fun when they were running.

A Florida Christmas with apologies to Clement Clark Moore

I believe I have observed the mandatory mourning period for my hero, Andy Rooney,  I'm sure Andy is in heaven finding even more unique things to be concerned about. I have attempted to cultivate my eyebrows in memorium, but my wife trims them while I am asleep.

Our first Christmas in Florida.  Very festive.   Sidewalk Santas in tank tops, shorts and sun block. Wheelchairs and walkers trimmed in holly. Canes wrapped like peppermint sticks. Supp-hose is hung by the fake chimney with care in the hope our dysfunctional Congress won't cut Medicare. Glasses of Ensure and Metamucil cookies await Santa.

We had just settled down for a warm winter's nap when out by the pool there arose such a clatter I eased out of bed (too old to "spring") to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a miniature slate of characters who want to be president next year.

Slower than turtles in molases they run, so I whistled and shouted and looked for my gun. No, Romney! No, Perry! No, Paul or Ms. Bachmann!

Go, Santorum! Go, Grinch-rich and Ambassador Huntsman! Now go away, go away, GO AWAY ALL!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and best wishes to one and all for a happy, healthy 2012.